For Small Group Leaders
If you’ve been asked to lead a small group through You Can’t Change Yourself — or if you’re considering it — this page has what you need to lead well.
The most important thing to know before you begin: you don’t need to be an expert on the material. You need to be willing to go first.
What Kind of Facilitator This Needs
Not a teacher. Not someone with the right answers. A man who:
- Has read the book and let it do something in him
- Is willing to go first — to model honest self-disclosure before asking others
- Can hold space without fixing or managing
- Will enforce confidentiality without apology
Men don’t open up because the facilitator has great questions. They open up because someone went first.
The Facilitator Kit — Ministry Edition
The Ministry Edition Facilitator Kit is specifically designed for church-based small groups. It includes:
- Session questions adapted for a church and faith context
- Optional scripture anchors for each session
- Guidance on navigating the pastoral dimensions of what comes up
- How to handle significant disclosures appropriately
- Suggestions for connecting the material to your broader men’s ministry program
Download the Free Facilitator Kit
Session Overview
The material works best in groups of 6–12 men, meeting weekly for 75–90 minutes. Each session follows the same format:
- Opening ritual (10 min): “Before we get into the material — what’s one thing you’ve been carrying since we last met that you haven’t said out loud yet?”
- Optional scripture anchor (5–10 min): A brief biblical text that frames the session
- Discussion (50–60 min): The questions in the facilitator kit
- Closing challenge (10 min): One concrete action each man commits to before the next session
Get Copies for Your Group
Bulk pricing is available for groups of 10 or more copies. Visit the ministry page for bulk pricing details.
“Men rarely grow because someone lectures them. They grow because someone stays.”